by Karla Brandau, CSP

Every year the Christmas season is an oxymoron: it is a delightful time of year,  but it is also a stressful time of year. What can you do to enjoy the season and avoid the therapists’, counselors', psychiatrists', ministers' or rabbis' office?

 Manage your energy level and your emotional state. Any human who gets too tired, too distressed, too sad, too hungry, too lonely, too financially strapped or eats too many delectable goodies wants to reach for the phone and dial 911. However, a good night’s sleep can do you just as much good. So this holiday season, remember to tuck yourself in at night instead of burning the candle at both ends, as I have been advised not to do many times in my life.

To make the Christmas Season a delightful time of year, say “No” to extra activities or requests that jam your schedule and deplete your energy. If a colleague or friend asks you to take on additional tasks or volunteer for extra service on the Holiday party committee, tell them you will have to check your schedule. As you evaluate the time commitment and the discretionary time on your calendar, you can make an informed decision as to the level of your involvement with the worthy endeavor.

The Christmas Season has many warm and wonderful memories for everyone but if personal loss has occurred at this time of year, it can be painful. I know a wise woman who lost her mother on December 1 several years ago. I admire the way she processes this pain by gently replaying precious memories of her mom. She thinks, feels, loves, and then decides to “let go” of the loss. My friend makes a conscious choice to help others. She looks around her community, finds an elderly woman who needs support, then helps her decorate her home and takes her Christmas shopping. This tradition has saved her emotional state every Christmas since her loss and blesses the life of another lonely soul.

Unfortunately, I know families whose siblings are not speaking because of something that happened 20 years ago at the family reunion. Christmas time when the spirit of brotherly abounds is the perfect opportunity to patch things up. Search your soul for inner strength to come to grips with blame and contribution and to find ways to forgive. Then forget and wipe the slate clean as you approach the person to make amends. When you go for this difficult conversation, take a gift, take the person out, or just sit and talk, allowing your spirit to connect and heal.

As opportunities arise, do nice things for others but give up the superwoman, superman mindset. Accept the fact that you are a human with the ability to do anything you want to do, but not the exceptional powers to do everything, especially all at one time. Selectively spend your time in service and activities that have lasting meaning and impact. Don’t deplete your energy on the trivial or superficial as it makes the season a burden and you the holiday grouch.

The holiday season doesn’t have to be perfect to be perfectly wonderful so put in a CD of your favorite artist, turn up the volume and turn down anxiety.

Tactical Tips for Holiday Stress

1. Manage your emotional state.
2. Give up excesses and use restraint in everything from eating to spending.
3. Evaluate the expenditure in time before jamming your schedule with requests from others.
4. Gently process personal pain then do something for someone less fortunate.
5. Forgive someone and then actually forget.
6. Relax and enjoy the lights, the sights and the sounds.

You’ll have a perfect holiday season.